Dreaming.

I'm sitting at this little table doing my schoolwork because Jack insists that we sit together while he does his work on the IPad. There's a coffee to my left and Jack Rabbit is staring at me.

Jack runs my world. I am his puppet and he is my master. He pushes my legs and pulls my hand, drags me through the house to show me what he wants to do next. He puts my hand on the front door knob, demanding, "open!" He communicates with single words, sound effects and full body charades. I love it.

Pumpkin bread spices are wafting through the house, no thanks to a cheap candle. I'm baking.It feels good to make, bake, produce. It feels good when Jose comes down the stairs to find out what smells so good. Jack runs to the oven telling me, "open!" And I remind him, "Not yet, it's going to get bigger!"

I remember when I was very pregnant with Jack. I used to sit on the glider in the corner of his nursery and dream. I imagined changing his diaper, smiling because he's smiling and babbling sweet sounds. I pictured myself walking into his room in the middle of the night to see him standing in his crib, hands gripping the rungs with little fists and two eyes barely peeking over the top. And just dreaming about it would give me this warm and fuzzy feeling, smiling in the dark, anticipating all the happiness in my future.

And it's funny how dreaming works. When you're living the dream, you're already dreaming again. Now, as I clumsily drag my feet out of my warm bed, rubbing my eyes and straining to find my way through the dark to that crying baby, I am annoyed. And I walk in, and there he is, standing with his little fist wrapped around the white rails, two almond eyes peeking over the top, watching the door. I know he's crying for his mama, hoping she'll pick him up and snuggle him in her bed.

This is why I journal. Writing my dream down makes it stick. My journal is my dream book. So I plan, every day, to do something fun. I want to do something worth writing down in my dream book. I want the dreams to be what I remember, so I can forget all the endless errands and mundane chores. All those things on my to-do list that have to get done today, are just going to have to wait for checklist number one: living my dream.

I will post pictures tomorrow, I promise. We have bubbles to blow and pumpkins to be painted!