Seventeen.

My palms are sweaty. Ew. The biggest, most gigantic flying cockroach was crawling up our wall. Ew. Jose, Jack and I just stood there and stared at it. Where did that come from?! It's huge! Jose was trying to convince me that this one could fly. How do you know it flies? And then it flew. Right at me. And I did the first thing that came to mind, abandoned my husband and baby and wrapped myself in a curtain. Cocooned. Away from the flying cockroach, while Jose sprayed it to death with Lime Greenworks All Purpose Spray. Ew.

So here's what I'm thinking about today. Seventeen. Tomorrow, Jack will be seventeen months old and I will be seventeen weeks pregnant, and seventeen is such a good number, isn't it? Maybe tomorrow at 1717 (5:15 p.m. for any non-medical/military people), I'll make a wish. Because it sounds lucky.

The house is ready for fall. We have autumn-ized it. Now that we're parents, it's our obligation to show our kids the change in season, whether Florida coordinates or not. And usually not. We don't own a rake or a snow scraper, but we can still make it feel like cold seasons are coming. We can still bundle up, bonfire and roast marshmallows. We'd look stupid doing it, but at least we're teaching Jack how it's supposed to be!

And to bring on the good autumn smells, I lit a harvest candle and baked oatmeal cookies from scratch. Smells like fall to me.

Jack likes to inform us that everything is "hot". He holds his hand out flat and says hot! And he knows that pots, pans, ovens, stoves, food, coffee, tea, soup and anything outside in Florida could be HOT! We have to assure him that his food is ready-to-eat-because-mamma-blew-on-it.

It's HOT!

And the end product was super tasty and made the whole house smell fall-ish.

There's a baby in my belly and he is kicking. And this is so hard to explain to a one-year-old. He looks closely at my belly button and peaks down my pants, but still can't seem to figure out what I'm talking about. I don't see a baby. Mamma's done lost her mind.

My little Einstein has taken over the IPAD. And doesn't need our help anymore.

Yesterday was a party. Jose's twin cousins, Joshua and Celeste, turned 14. This is Aunt Stephanie's final outing as a fatty. Everyone wanted to rub that lucky Buddah belly.

Joshua taking a bite of yummy Buca De Peppo platter.

Jack doesn't want to be IN the picture. He wants to TAKE the picture.

Happy birthday to Joshua and Celeste, hope you made a great wish on that birthday cake. And no more puppies! You have plenty!

Days at Home.

Sometimes, just sitting on the sofa watching my boys play is all the entertainment I need. Because this is what I see.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, that would be a grown man in his underwear and a red flying cape. Dancing and flying to influence his son's imagination. And I love it.

Then they drive their hotwheels off the table and shout, "WOAH!"

And then they form a band. And Jack plays the kazoo, upside down, because it's cool.

And what a show! It's a good daddy that is not afraid to rock it out in his skivvies with his one-year-old. And I sure love this good daddy.

HOA sent out a letter stating everyone needs to put some love, sweat and tears into their front lawns. So we went to Lowe's, picked out some plants that we loved, sweat it out in the hot Florida sun and tore into our yard. Get it? No tears, tore. Get it? We definitely didn't cry, and we didn't laugh until we cried, so we tore.

Mums! Are they beautiful? What I really need if for them to be self-sufficient. They're supposed to grow back on their own, love full sun (plenty provided), and be easy. I love easy.

Jack will touch any bug, but if he spots a speck of dirt on his hands, he freezes, staring at the dirt and then looking for help. I had to teach him how to clap his hands together to get the dirt off. He did this all day.

And drinking dirt? Not a problem.

It's just a good thing he can't see all the dirt on his face.

School started today. My awesome hoban took the baby out for a couple of hours so I could get started. I can do this and that and more. If I just remember to breathe.

A special set of surprises come next week. And they will be bundled in blue and I will love them. And Jack will love them, his first cousins. We can't wait.

Happy birthday to a super dad.

He can put together his puzzles all by himself! Sorry about the fuzziness, I was playing with camera settings. I can't believe how much that little sponge of a brain can soak up. He's like a parrot, repeating every word in his own version. He inputs information and then demonstrates it back. He wipes his own mouth, blows his own nose and tries his very best to put on his own shoes. He wants to be a grownup one day.

I just love his toes.

But my little baby at heart still hugs his Jack Rabbit like a security blanket and finds his moot (we call it a shnoot, everyone else calls it a binky) with every bit of excitement that comes with the discovery of gold. He's still my baby.

This is the hair do Jack wore for the occasion of a surprise birthday party. The higher the hair, the better the celebration. The key is to distract him so he doesn't touch it. Eventually it falls and curls beautifully.
Jack and I are not streamer people. They are cheap and tacky and we just don't know how to properly decorate with them. Jack got carried away with his streamer and was mad when he couldn't get it off.

And thank you Amma for making homemade carrot cake with homemade cream cheese icing.

Many thanks.

We let him sulk. My poor dad moped all weekend as no one would even peep about his upcoming birthday. No one called yesterday morning to wish him happy birthday, mom kept mum as he got ready for work. It was pitiful.

To keep our guilty spirits up, we baked and decorated and finger-painted and wrapped and shopped and laughed and quite outdid ourselves. A celebration was in store.

And what a surprise it was! He came in grinning ear to ear, to this.

Jack is sitting by my side, one Croc on his right foot. The other foot has a black bottom. His shirt is stained with chocolate ice cream and orange paint that he used to paint the letter E at school today. I'm not sure what is crusty on the side of his lip. Ice cream? Milk? His feet are stinky and his head smells like chlorine.

He is plugging a transfer wire into my little laptop. In and out, in and out. My wallet is open with all contents spread throughout the living room. I can't see my debit card anywhere.

And I love it. Time for a bath.

Balance

I don't know how to balance. I have no idea. There is not enough time in the day for me to tackle my to-do list and be a supermom. When all I really want to do is be a supermom. Before I applied for school and found out I was pregnant, I spent every day coming up with something to teach Jack or to rock his world. I felt like a supermom. And if I got dinner on the table that night, it was the best day. Almost every day was the best day.

Now, I'm just a big ball of emotional stress, looking at Jack, sitting on the bleachers waiting to be called on to play. It's a lingering temptation. There are so many places I want to take him and so many things I want to show him, but if I get behind in my work, this crazy hormonal pregnant woman loses control. She becomes blinded by a veil of negativity, venting her frustrations on the teeniest matters to her favorite people.

But I will learn to balance. And more importantly, I will remind myself of the beautiful things. So to start, ten beautiful things in my life right now:

10. I have been making something special for two special little people coming into the world in less than three short weeks. I am so excited to meet them.

9. I have a perfect little birthstone, a diamond for the month of April, the month Jack was born, embedded in the bottom of my engagement ring, that will soon be accompanied by a new birthstone.

8. Blueberry cobbler with cottage cheese. Because cottage cheese is healthier than ice cream.

7. Light pink nail polish and the satisfaction that I managed to paint all twenty digits with no mishaps. Four days later, it still looks good.

6. Japanese Cherry Blossom hand soap because it reminds me of being pregnant for the first time.

5. Curry chicken from Rice Paper. I would eat it every night if Jose would join me.

4. This cooler weather, when I can take Jack outside for a late evening walk and listen to him point out the moooooooon, the stars, a sign, a car and a 'tee' (the tall thing that grows with branches and leaves).

3. My incredibly patient, understanding and reassuring husband, always cheering my on with a rah rah!

2. My growing belly and the rolling motions I have been feeling for the past few days that I am sure is not gas.

1. My little big boy, freshly bathed with lavender bedtime bath gel, curled up next to me with a nook in his neck where my face will be buried shortly.

Not many pictures this time around, but I will make up for it. Promise.