Balance

I don't know how to balance. I have no idea. There is not enough time in the day for me to tackle my to-do list and be a supermom. When all I really want to do is be a supermom. Before I applied for school and found out I was pregnant, I spent every day coming up with something to teach Jack or to rock his world. I felt like a supermom. And if I got dinner on the table that night, it was the best day. Almost every day was the best day.

Now, I'm just a big ball of emotional stress, looking at Jack, sitting on the bleachers waiting to be called on to play. It's a lingering temptation. There are so many places I want to take him and so many things I want to show him, but if I get behind in my work, this crazy hormonal pregnant woman loses control. She becomes blinded by a veil of negativity, venting her frustrations on the teeniest matters to her favorite people.

But I will learn to balance. And more importantly, I will remind myself of the beautiful things. So to start, ten beautiful things in my life right now:

10. I have been making something special for two special little people coming into the world in less than three short weeks. I am so excited to meet them.

9. I have a perfect little birthstone, a diamond for the month of April, the month Jack was born, embedded in the bottom of my engagement ring, that will soon be accompanied by a new birthstone.

8. Blueberry cobbler with cottage cheese. Because cottage cheese is healthier than ice cream.

7. Light pink nail polish and the satisfaction that I managed to paint all twenty digits with no mishaps. Four days later, it still looks good.

6. Japanese Cherry Blossom hand soap because it reminds me of being pregnant for the first time.

5. Curry chicken from Rice Paper. I would eat it every night if Jose would join me.

4. This cooler weather, when I can take Jack outside for a late evening walk and listen to him point out the moooooooon, the stars, a sign, a car and a 'tee' (the tall thing that grows with branches and leaves).

3. My incredibly patient, understanding and reassuring husband, always cheering my on with a rah rah!

2. My growing belly and the rolling motions I have been feeling for the past few days that I am sure is not gas.

1. My little big boy, freshly bathed with lavender bedtime bath gel, curled up next to me with a nook in his neck where my face will be buried shortly.

Not many pictures this time around, but I will make up for it. Promise.