TWO

The heart is made of a thin stretchy fabric. Maybe a cozy cotton jersey knit with a small percentage of spandex. It is comfortable and it has the ability to stretch and grow without bursting at the seams when you fall in love again.

I fell in love again. My heart grew this week.

His name is Lucius Eli Pacheco. He came on Monday morning after a fast labor.

I woke up with some crampy contractions at 3:30am and knew: this is it. I woke Jose who called Diane. It was so peaceful. Jack was sleeping beside us, the house was quiet and it was just us. I just wanted to lay there. I felt good.

We called Mom and told her to mosie on over whenever, but she came right away. I rocked a little on my birthing ball, we watched Pregnancy in America, we smiled, we laughed, we timed contractions. Only five minutes apart, we'll call again when they come every three minutes.

At 8:15, labor was active and contractions were less than three minutes apart. Game time. I rocked against the wall in the loft and hummed like a monk. Jack woke up. Mom and Jose poured boiling water into the tub. Shannon arrived at 9:00. I started pushing at 9:15.

Baby Eli came into Jose's hands at 9:29, minutes after Diane walked in. Then onto my chest, into my arms, back to the sound of my beating heart. And it was beautiful...

... aside from me cursing at Jose for asking me questions during contractions.

And I am so in love with this little man who stole a piece of my heart. Expanded it to a potential I didn't know a heart could have. It was love at first sight, and now that I know how much more love I have to give, I am sure I will welcome more...

... not for at least four years.

Birth is beautiful. I embraced it with my whole body, naturally. I never thought of myself as a woman with strength, empowered by what I can do. What I was made to do. The beauty of who I am and what I am capable of, what every woman is capable of doing, makes me so proud to be given this body as my vessel. For those women who doubt, who criticize or blame their bodies for their lot in life, their shortcomings and lack of luck: I say TEST IT.

Bring on this wild and wonderful life with your greatest ammunition. Fall in love again and again. I am singing with my happy baby hormones, which, by the way, can knock out any synthetic drug. Loving love, loving my body, loving my stretchy heart and loving my baby.